菲比不尋常

熬夜狂歡時可以不用擔心眼睛裡的隱形眼鏡太乾而掉出來是什麼感覺？

不用擔心隱形眼鏡藥水快沒了、食鹽水快用光了得趕緊去補貨是什麼感覺？？

半夜尿急醒過來不用到處找眼鏡就可以直接衝往廁所是什麼感覺？？

一大早醒來張開雙眼就可以清晰地看到周遭世界是什麼感覺？

出去旅行不用多帶一個包包裝著隱形眼鏡盒、隱形眼鏡藥水、食鹽水、眼鏡盒是什麼感覺？

眼睛生病時，不用忍受好幾天得帶著幾百度又厚又重近視眼鏡吃喝拉撒的不便是什麼感覺？

以上所有的問題，我現在通通可以回答了 -------

是的，現在來報告我眼睛雷射手術過程。

我們去的眼科是我的學生介紹的，在和平東路跟溫州街口，聽說他們介紹了近十個朋友去至今沒有任一個負面評價，我當然也在網路上做了很多功課，但是大家眾說紛紜，有人說這家好就會有人說這家壞，所以我最後決定了還是眼見為憑，有人親身驗證總比網路上來路不明的資訊來的有可信度多了。

首先，我們必須先進眼科做術前的檢查。

檢查的項目大概就是視力、角膜厚度測量、角膜狀態跟淚液測試。

做測試之前護士給我們點了瞳孔放大劑，說瞳孔大比較容易做檢查。以下照片是點了瞳孔放大劑後我們的眼睛。

Derek才點了一次瞳孔就放的跟外星人一樣大，阿我是點了兩次後才勉勉強強達到護士要的效果。

再來是做眼睛淚液量的測試。

就是這樣插兩張試紙進你的眼睛，因為當時眼睛有點麻藥所以沒啥感覺，事後看照片才覺得...呼！好痛！

做完測試，被判了一整個星期不能戴眼鏡的苦刑跟拿了幾罐眼藥水我們就回家去了。

天天戴眼鏡上班＋頂著夏天的太陽騎摩托車真的好痛苦阿！鼻梁在第二天就有擦傷了...

一個星期後，我們在Derek生日當天再度到醫院報到。

手術當天下午阿妹打了電話給我，跟我說她很緊張，很怕會搞砸...然後問我會不會緊張？我回她，幹嘛緊張？我興奮都來不及了，終於可以脫離眼鏡一族了捏！是的，手術前我真的是一點都沒有緊張或是害怕的感覺，滿心想都是明天我就可以重見光明了...明天開始我就明眼人了...根本沒有去深思手術到底是怎的樣的一個過程（雖然護士小姐已經跟我們鉅細靡遺地解試過流程兩三次了），一直到了我進了手術室，躺在手術台上，醫生把撐眼器一使勁地壓進我眼球之後我才開始緊張了起來....

『＊的！會痛耶！護士小姐不是說不會痛，只會有不舒服的感覺嗎？』

『阿他現在拿個東西在我眼球撥阿撥的，是在撥什麼？』

『盯著紅點！盯著紅點！醫生說要一直盯著前面的紅點...』

『阿不是說我的度數只要打30秒左右，阿怎麼打了好像一輩子還沒打完？』

『不可以動...不可以動...千萬不可以動...動了我就變瞎子了...』

醫生先做右眼，等做完右眼時，我整個手術的恐懼才真的浮現了出來。

＊！我現在正在讓人把一把刀子戳進我的眼睛耶！手術耶！是永久侵入性的傷害耶！搞砸了我輩子不就完了？？？這時候我已經開始想哭，甚至想跟醫生說...算了，左眼就算了，不要做好了...我們就此打住好了...

不過，我僅存的理智阻止了我說出那一句話（就算說了醫生應該也不會理我吧！？），試著做一個深呼吸、動一下身體，不過我這一個舉動馬上引來醫生的厲聲警告：

『喔！這樣動不行喔！等一下這樣動可是會打偏的...』

＊＆％＄＃＠＋＊＆︿％＃＠！！！   是嫌我還不夠緊張是不是？  阿現在我是真的完完全全地緊張了起來了.......

先把我的上下睫毛貼起來 --- 還可以忍受；

再度把撐眼器塞進我眼睛裡 --- 好脹、好不舒服，忍忍忍，我忍...；

放進固定眼球的機器 --- 那壓在我眼球上的是什麼東西？；

拿根白色的東西在我眼球來來回回地刷幾百下 --- 感覺應該要很痛，但是其實只是怪...；

達達達達達達達達達......機器開始磨平我的眼角膜了 --- 這是最重要的一個部分，我絕對不能動...我絕對不能動...但是我好想吞口水喔現在！怎麼辦？我口水快要忍不住了...不行，我真的得要吞口水...

『ㄟㄟ！不可以動喔！』

我還是忍不住動了，再度引來醫生的警告......我真的很緊張嘛！那護士說的30秒，真的是我人生目前為止最難熬的30秒阿！

終於，我聽到醫生說：『好了，手術結束』。他們把我的眼睛貼起來，然後把我引到休息區。

這時候我整個哭意都來了，雖然眼睛被貼著不能張開，但是我都可以感覺到我的眼淚在一滴一滴地往外滲...（看我哭的鼻頭紅通通）。

阿妹是第二棒，術後修養差我一截，在那邊大吼大叫地說：『說什麼不會痛！痛死我了啦！』

Derek第三棒，因為他做的是PRK（只有度數淺的人才有這一個選項），必須一做完就回家休息，所以把他排最後。

手術後的當天晚上我們早早就就寢了，睡覺的時候要像左下兩張照片那樣用眼罩把眼睛貼住，因為怕睡覺時手會去無意識地揉到眼睛，把角膜又掀開一切就結束了。

術後的隔天我就可以正常作息，當然看東西還是有一點模糊，但是算是可以 不用依賴眼鏡了。

之後的一個星期的護理工作就是不能揉眼睛、不能把洗面乳弄靠近眼睛的部分、不能化妝，一天要點四次眼藥水...不能化妝的部分比較痛苦，因為這導致我一整個星期都戴著墨鏡去上課。← 愛美是其次，其實是怕眼睛裡的血塊會嚇到孩子，好貼心的一個老師阿我！

Derek的術後過程就坎坷多了（看看上面的照片，他術後眼睛超腫的！），前24個小時簡直是折煞我也（當然真正受苦的人是他），那過程真的太崎嶇，所有有興趣知道PRK術後過程是多麼折磨的人請讀以下Derek的PRK log：

We arrived home, Erin and Phoebe are in pain and head off to bed. I walk around a while and chat with Brian about the surgery.

And then the tide changes. Phoebe begins sleeping, I begin crying. Not from pain, but my eyes are pretty angry. The pain killer from earlier started wearing off and my eyes started swelling up. My eyes took my sinuses along for the ride so my entire upper face started to swell from the surgery. My nose started running, my eyes were watering like a 3 year old that watches his puppy get hit by a bus. This continues for a good three more hours at which point (FINALLY!) I get to take my second pain pill abd antibiotic (every 4 hours).

Well at least the sensation went down some. Truth be told it wasn't painful. It was irritating. If you've ever put a contact lens in wrong or with a bubble under it you'll know what I'm talking about. It was that scratchy irritated feeling of having an eyelash in your eye, but multiplied by about 50. Think of the driest most annoying day you've ever had with your contacts, then bump that up a few hundred notches. The worst part was the running nose and tears though. They were not kidding around, I went through around a whole box of tissues that night just drying up my watering eyes and taking care of my nose. I would have made it to sleep with the irritated feeling, but the watering eyes and runny nose kept me awake. I walked around the room as I found that standing helped keep the sensations as a minimum because of the lower blood pressure while standing. I walked around, paced around, fiddled around with my guitar, listened to music, anything I could do to keep my mind off of that amazingly irritating feeling. After a while I just gave up and surrendered to the knowledge that this was going to be my fate for the day and that this was not going away any time soon. I crawled into bed in hope of being luck enough to sleep through it.

I set my alarm for 4:30 AM (my next pain pill and antibiotic time) and just sat in bed keeping myself dry. You should have seen the wastebasket. It looked like a foot of snow from the tissues. Somewhere between wipes I think I finally managed to get into a comfortable enough lull in my watering and runniness to doze off.

At which point we begin day one otherwise known as...

Day 1 - DEAR GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING SO BRIGHT?!?!

My alarm went off at 4:30 AM. I reached over to grab my phone and look at it to turn it off. BAAAAAD mistake. It was like staring at a welding arc. Sometime between when I dozed off and when my alarm went off, my eyes thought it would be a good idea to make everything I looked at just like staring directly at the sun through a telescope. My cell phone screen was so bright that I literally just winced and gave up even pretending that I was going to be able to set the alarm for 8:30 (4 hours, 4 hours, just 4 hours) and had Phoebe do it. She rolled over just like any other night, half asleep, set it for me, then rolled back asleep. I got to spend another hour or two fighting off tears and snot before I again dozed off to sleep.

Useful tip : before your PRK be sure to stock up on tissue paper and tissue paper company stocks.

8:30 comes around. This time with a vengeance. Phoebe is already up, eyes open walking around the apartment, eating breakfast. I get up like a groggy swamp monster full of oozing pores and buckets of gushing slime. It's at this point when I realize that my apartment must be located around 3 feet from the sun. BOOM everything is bright. Not just bright, but like vampire in a tanning bed bright. I tell Phoebe about this and she begins taping towels over the windows to make the room dimmer. When she finally has every single crack covered it still wasn't enough. I put a t-shirt over my face to try to block the rest of the light sneaking through. Still not good enough. Two nice thick t-shirts ended up doing the trick well enough, though that pinpoint of light sneaking in under my nose is threatening to melt my retinas.

Useful tips : before your PRK surgery, prepare your bedroom to be as dark as possible. Think vampire mushrooms.

So this was my day 1. Sitting in bed, wondering when the sun would finally go away. Taking pills every four hours. Eyes watering like a garden hose. My face so swollen and uncomfortable that I wonder if I've managed to win any prize fights recently. My nose was just gushing still. I ended up using two full boxes of tissues up to this point. Pills, pills, pills, drops, drops, drops.

Useful tips : use a cold pack for reducing facial swelling. It helps. Just remember how to get to your fridge with your eyes closed!

Day 1. Not fun. Nose always on the run. Phoebe and I began to notice a cycle in my attitude. Happy for the next two hours after I took a pain pill, then slowly degrading into irritation at my eyes until I just couldn't stand to wait another minute to get to my next pill. The pain they talked about wasn't really there. There was never really any pain, not to any degree that I couldn't easily withstand, though I guess my experience with major migraines sort of put levels of head pain in perspective. Overall I'd put day 1 on par with a day of a bad hangover. You know it'll be over soon enough. You know you'll be back to normal eventually, but while it's going on you just want to die.

Useful tip : Be sure to refrain from beating up your friends that had LASIK done the same time as you. They will be back to normal and have no pain about 6 hours after surgery. Friggim fraggum nrgll little shits.

As day 1 came to a close the sun finally went away. You'd think that would be good enough so that I don't need the t-shirts anymore. WRONG! Next to my bed I have a 15 W incandescent bulb I us for reading at night. I turned this light on (still with the t-shirts over my face mind you) and thought someone had detonated an atomic bomb in my brain. Turning it away from myself so that it shone on the other side of the room proved equally as painful. I ended up, with Phoebe's help, so that the entire illumination of our bedroom consisted of our bathroom light on with the door closed. Yes this was still bright when I took off the t-shirts.

Finally the night wore on. Phoebe and Erin went out for their first check up to see how their eyes were coming along. Erin ended up with one eye at 1.5 (normal is 1.2, higher is better) and one at .9. Phoebe ended up with .9 is both. Their eyes are healing quite quickly and their vision is nearly already where it will be permanently.

I end up eating something finally and then slink back to bed. Day 1 almost over. Woohoo! But that supply of pills sure is going fast...

Day 2 - Well that's nice

I woke up on day 2 expecting another day 1, since I still had pills left. It was a pleasant surprise to wake up and actually be able to OPEN my eyes. Not only that I could see fairly well out of my right eye. My left eye was proving a little blurry still, but at least I wasn't a swamp monster anymore. Day 2 was a complete turn around from day 1. I got out of bed feeling pretty good. I could open my eyes and finally look around some. I felt like a completely new person.

My vision started out pretty good in the morning. A bit like having glasses that are just off by a little bit. This proved to be the peak of my vision that day. It slowly degraded through the whole day, up until the very end of the day when I had to have my face about 6 inches from my computer to be able to read anything on it. Blurry, but at least I could open my eyes. The watering had stopped as had the runny nose. The swelling went down and I felt loads better that night.

My LASIK companions were out and about that day living their normal lives. They actually ended up doing a fair bit of cooking that day for dinner. Erin worked all day on some tomato beef noodle soup which ended up being rather delicious.

Useful tip : get to know people that like to cook good food. Seriously.

I'll give day 2 overall a 2/10 for pain and a 5/10 for irritation.

你說說是不是很崎嶇？是不是很辛苦？← 假裝沒有聽到要翻譯的聲音......

現在手術後約快兩個星期的時間，我眼睛的狀況我個人是覺得恢復地還可以，正常地生活當然是一點問題也沒有，只是偶而在看近的東西（看電腦或是看書）時會有一點吃力，護士說那是正常的現象，因為現在我們的眼睛要重新學習在這樣的視力下看近的東西。

到現在我天天還是在一種驚喜中的心情就寢（想到不用拿下隱形眼鏡）跟愉悅的心情醒起床（想到我現在眼睛裡沒有東西但世界卻是如此清晰）。

我知道很多人還是為一些雷射手術的負面評價擔憂，對這項手術保持觀望態度，well，我知道他們的擔心有道理，但是，

我先一步當明眼人去囉！